by Scott Williams
Natalie Dylan, a 22-year-old Sacramento State student, has become a high-profile commodity since offering up her virginity in exchange for her graduate school tuition. Empowered, she says, by what she learned in her undergraduate degree in women's studies, she's now looking for help to pay for a masters degree in, of all things, marriage and family therapy.
Natalie (not her real name) has passed a lie detector test and is willing to have a doctor verify her virginity to the high bidder. Originally turned down by Ebay because what she's doing is illegal, she managed to find a promoter in the state-sanctioned Bunny Ranch brothel in Nevada.
What could happen to make a young woman to give away her once-in-a-lifetime gift away like this? Here's what she says:
"I first got the idea when I... saw this article about about a Peruvian girl whose mother was really ill, and she wanted to help out the family, so she decided to put out an ad to sell her virginity... I thought this girl was absolutely brilliant to do that."
"You never know where you're going to end up in life, and I think empowerment of women is picking yourself up and doing something on your own to better yourself."
"When I was younger, I wanted 100% romance, possibly even wait for marriage. But as I grew up, reality kinda hit. And I think it's a capitalistic society and I want to capitalize on this," explained Dylan.
Little girls naturally grow up dreaming of romance and finding Prince Charming. Those unrealistic expectations are battered by a world that sells sexuality to any bidder at any price, and teaches women that their sexuality is power—they either use it or have someone abuse it.
What's missing from this cultural message is the truth that a woman's sexuality is inextricably tied her deepest emotional and romantic needs for security, significance, companionship, and affection. To sell her sexuality at any price is too cheap. I think most people probably realize this, but I fear that our culture is producing a lot of young people who think like Natalie. Here are some comments from readers of an original article on her venture:
"You go girl.....Love comes and goes....You may give it to someone you love...but when he's gone...then what do you have$$$$" "No matter what its a personal choice and this girl is obviously manifesting her right to such a decision. I find it humerous when people say they are ashamed of her choice, or that she should give it to someone she loves and cares about. These beliefs are conditioned responses because of the social system we live in. Who's to actually say how a virginity should be spent? I can think of some worse things this girl could do that millions of americans do each and every day. I am behind her all the way and only wish I would have thought of it myself." "The first time you lost your virginity it was for dinner and a movie. She is just making more than you. get over it. You probably hate the one who took your virginity, at least she will never have that stigma and will never have to see him again."
Recent research indicates that today's young brides are far more likely to have affairs than their older sisters. I'm sure one reason is that younger generations have been enculturated to view sex as primarily physical rather than as an act of the whole person—body, soul and spirt—that God intended it to be. After a few years, a newlywed wife invariably makes that transition to realize her Prince Charming is just an ordinary man who doesn't always treat her like the princess she desires to be. It's then that she's tempted to turn her heart to other men who pay attention to her, and to respond to their desire for sex.
The act of sexual intimacy was designed by God not just as a self-gratifying experience, but a bonding one. Those of us who have been married for decades will attest to the fact that sex now is better than ever, because it is a bonding not just of two bodies, but of two hearts and souls. Sex at is best its experienced in a lifelong relationship. At its worst it becomes a bartering tool in a empowerment-focused society.