FamilyLife Culture Watch

Tiger Steps Up

by Dave Boehi

I haven't been writing many posts lately because I've been buried helping Dennis Rainey put together a book on courageous manhood. The theme of the book is that men are called to make courageous choices to step up to their responsibilities as they go through different stages of life as men.

Today I was editing a chapter about men who actually step back instead of stepping up. They regress to adolescent behavior, following their lusts and desires, and wrapping themselves in a cocoon of self-absorption. And right in the middle of this work, a friend e-mailed me a link to watch Tiger Woods read a statement in which he took responsibility for his infidelity.

Tiger was a man who stepped back into adolescent behavior, and it was encouraging to see him apparently doing the right thing to step up and man up. His statement was full of powerful statements from a man who obviously is getting good advice about owning up to his mistakes:

"What I did is not acceptable, and I am the only person to blame..."

"I ran straight through the boundaries that a married couple should live by..."

"I thought I could do whatever I wanted to. I was wrong, I was foolish. I don’t get to play by different rules."

It's been interesting to read different media reactions to the statement. ABC News anchor George Stephanopoulos called it "one of the most remarkable public apologies ever by a public figure," while a public relations expert called it a "disaster." One media host tweeted, "Tiger's apology included some of the worst acting since Ishtar."

As for me, I saw a private man who was ashamed and nervous—who wouldn't be? And I agree with Stephanopoulos: I can't think of another statement that honest or remarkable from a public figure admitting his sin.

The State of Marriage

Since 1970, marriage has been on the decline. The number of people marrying each year has decreased by 50 percent as a portion of the population. While a lot of the decrease is because people aren't marrying at all, other factors are feeding the decline, like couples delaying marriage until their late 20s, the increase in cohabitation, and a slight decrease in the remarriage rate of divorcees.

Cohabitation has increased more than 12 times what it was in 1960. It's rapidly becoming the living arrangement of choice among those who haven't seen a good example of biblical marriage. Included are those who:

• Have been divorced
• Were raised in a divorce, fatherless, or discordant home
• Have lower educational levels
• Have lower income levels
• Are less religious than their peers

An interesting trend that is developing divides Americans into the haves and have-nots when it comes to marriage and family stability. College-age women are actually marrying in higher numbers than ever before, and their divorce numbers continue to drop. They're also more likely than any other group to consider their marriages "very happy." Add to that the fact that among women who delay marriage past age 30, college-educated women are the only group more likely to have children after marriage rather than before.

Now, the have-nots. Women without a college education are experiencing a sharp rise in out-of-wedlock childbearing. One study finds that more than half of these women are having children outside marriage. That compares with just seven percent of college-educated women. Not only that, they're much more likely to cohabit than their more educated peers.

If the marriage example is likely to repeat itself in the next generation, this fork in the marriage road looks to widen quickly over the coming years. Already, more than one-fourth of all children are raised in single-parent homes, and more than 40 percent of cohabiting homes contain children.

My Favorite Snow Story

by Dave Boehi

We've been enjoying some winter weather here in Arkansas, but it's nothing like "Snowmagaddon" back East.  The Washington D.C. area is basically shut down, and I'm sure many people are getting stir-crazy.  It reminds me of the year we had a three-foot snowfall in my hometown of Eugene, Ore., and the entire city shut down for a week.  As a ninth-grade boy I loved it, but I'm sure my parents got tired of it pretty quick.

My favorite article or media report appeared in yesterday's Washington Post, where Kathleen Parker learned something about men during the last week.  A heavy snowstorm, she writes, reveals:

Men want shovels, the bigger the better.

No sooner had the first flakes begun falling in this crippling winter smackdown than the attendant quiet was interrupted by the scrape of metal against brick.

There was Craig, festooned in a winter-defiant red jacket, battling snow with his Great Big Snow Shovel. Barely a doughnut's dusting had settled on the sidewalk, but one can never get started too soon in the battle against accumulations to come.

Lest I be accused of sexist stereotyping, let me tweak the record to reflect that many women were also out clearing sidewalks and unearthing cars no longer identifiable as such. But most women do these things because they must, while men apparently can't wait to do them.

Perhaps it is in times of hardship that men step up to do their best.  Parker writes, "Man is never happier than when he is called to action, in other words. That is to say, when he is needed."