FamilyLife Culture Watch

The State of Marriage

Since 1970, marriage has been on the decline. The number of people marrying each year has decreased by 50 percent as a portion of the population. While a lot of the decrease is because people aren't marrying at all, other factors are feeding the decline, like couples delaying marriage until their late 20s, the increase in cohabitation, and a slight decrease in the remarriage rate of divorcees.

Cohabitation has increased more than 12 times what it was in 1960. It's rapidly becoming the living arrangement of choice among those who haven't seen a good example of biblical marriage. Included are those who:

• Have been divorced
• Were raised in a divorce, fatherless, or discordant home
• Have lower educational levels
• Have lower income levels
• Are less religious than their peers

An interesting trend that is developing divides Americans into the haves and have-nots when it comes to marriage and family stability. College-age women are actually marrying in higher numbers than ever before, and their divorce numbers continue to drop. They're also more likely than any other group to consider their marriages "very happy." Add to that the fact that among women who delay marriage past age 30, college-educated women are the only group more likely to have children after marriage rather than before.

Now, the have-nots. Women without a college education are experiencing a sharp rise in out-of-wedlock childbearing. One study finds that more than half of these women are having children outside marriage. That compares with just seven percent of college-educated women. Not only that, they're much more likely to cohabit than their more educated peers.

If the marriage example is likely to repeat itself in the next generation, this fork in the marriage road looks to widen quickly over the coming years. Already, more than one-fourth of all children are raised in single-parent homes, and more than 40 percent of cohabiting homes contain children.

The Manhattan Declaration

by Dave Boehi

Today marks the release of a significant document that Charles Colson says is "one of the most important documents produced by the American church, at least in my lifetime." The Manhattan Declaration, he writes, is a "wake-up call—a call to conscience—for the church. It is also a crystal-clear message to civil authorities that we will not, under any circumstances, stand idly by as our religious freedom comes under assault."

The document, signed by 148 religious leaders, including Dennis Rainey, President of FamilyLife, is a strong, biblical statement that focuses on three issues: the sanctity of human life, the dignity of marriage as the conjugal union of husband and wife, and the rights of conscience and religious liberty. As the Manhattan Declaration website says:

Inasmuch as these truths are foundational to human dignity and the well-being of society, they are inviolable and non-negotiable. Because they are increasingly under assault from powerful forces in our culture, we are compelled today to speak out forcefully in their defense, and to commit ourselves to honoring them fully no matter what pressures are brought upon us and our institutions to abandon or compromise them. We make this commitment not as partisans of any political group but as followers of Jesus Christ, the crucified and risen Lord, who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. 

Another key statement, from the declaration itself:

". . . We will not comply with any edict that purports to compel our institutions to participate in abortions, embryo-destructive research, assisted suicide and euthanasia or any other anti-life act; nor will we bend to any rule purporting to force us to bless immoral sexual partnerships, treat them as marriage or the equivalent or refrain from proclaiming the truth, as we know it, about morality and immorality and marriage and the family."

It's worth reading the entire document, which includes strong sections on each of the three issues discussed. Click here to download The Manhattan Declaration.

It will be interesting to read the reaction over the next few days, because the Manhattan Declaration addresses some of the most controversial issues of our day.  My prediction: Plenty of name-calling, hysteric indignation and accusations that Christians are plotting to take away the liberties of everyone who disagrees with them.  As one person wrote in a comment on a Washington Post blog post by one of the Manhattan Declaration authors, "The Taliban are thriving here in America.  The 'Manhattan Declaration' is their war cry against the freedoms of everyone else."

Let's call this marriage off

by Barbara Rainey

A good friend forwarded an article to me about the demise of a marriage. Written by Sandra Tsing Loh, the author told her husband she wanted a divorce and then wrote, "sadly and to my horror, I am divorcing." Married for 20 years and a mother of girls still at home, she describes the decision to end her marriage to a good man as cataclysmic and heart-shattering.

The story of another marriage ending did not surprise me. It's really nothing new. 

But her conclusion left me thinking long after I moved on to the next e-mail: "I did not have the strength to 'work on' falling in love in my marriage again. Given my staggering working mother's to do list, I cannot take on another arduous home- and self-improvement project, that of rekindling our romance." Her words percolated in my mind. She was saying she's too tired to try any more, as if working on a marriage requires purely physical strength.

In the author's defense I want to say how much I understand and empathize with her situation. She is in her mid-forties, juggling a career, kids with schools and lessons and appointments, bills to pay, meals to prepare, and pets to feed. It's a crazy time of life. I remember those years of my forties as being some of the most stressful I'd ever endured. During these years a woman teeters between youth and middle age, experiences the turmoil and rejection of teenagers who used to adore her, deals with aging parents, faces personal health issues, and figures out how to manage a marriage that often has become stale or at least challenged in this season.

But as difficult as this season can be in a marriage, I differ with her as to the solution.

Dennis Rainey on Fox

FamilyLife President Dennis Rainey appeared on Fox Business yesterday, talking about helping military marriages.  It was great to see this important issue highlighted on Veteran's Day.

Around the World in 80 Words - #56

POLAND: Spurred by a rash of cases of father’s molesting young daughters, the lower house passed a law requiring chemical castration for those accused of rape against children or close relatives.

CHINA: During an eight-day holiday celebrating 60 years of communism, couples in Chongqing province will not be allowed to divorce. Government offices will be open to license marriages, though.

INDONESIA: Outgoing conservative Islamist legislators in this autonomous province voted unanimously to allow public stoning to death in cases of adultery.